Blakes 4th Birthday Party

We had so much fun celebrating Blakes birthday! We had his birthday party at a splash pad with friends family and a yummy birthday cake that i made! Yep i made my first cake and i think it turned out pretty cute!!

 Blake LOVED his cake! His party was all his favorite superheros which is pretty much all of them!

 Little miss thought my creation was pretty yummy

 Love all these boys! I have a great family

 We love having my family here in Arizona now! I am so glad they were able to come to Blakes birthday party!

 WE fed the ducks, played in the splash pad and played at the park!

 All Blakes friends:)

 One of my best friends Clarissa! So glad we moved here together

 Blake and Weston finally got to be at eachothers birthday partied this year!!! SO exciting!

 Blakes "girlfriend" Elsie!

 Love these ladies!

 Oh how i love celebrating Blake. He is my favorite little boy in the whole world!!!

I MADE THIS!!!!! I cant believe i did. It was so stressful and fun and i think it turned out so cute! I also made the inside tyedied!!!

Blake is 4!!!

Thats insane!!! I seriously have a 4 year old. Oh my gosh time has flown by so fast i cant even believe it!

 This little boy has the best smile ever! He is so handsome! Blake loves taking pictures and he is actually really really good at taking them! He has an eye for it! Who knows, he may be a photographer! He loves to be outside walking and looking at things. He could walk forever if we are in a new place.

Right now Blake is very into Super heros, legos, nerf guns and sports. He likes to dress up in his costumes and fight all the bad guys. He is also really into cops. He likes to pretend he is a cop and always says he either wants to be Ironman or a cop when he gets big.

 Blake is very goofy. He knows he is funny and laughs at everything he says. He thinks its funny to make funny faces when i take pictures to. Cute but annoying haha. Blake laughs and laughs and laughs. He thinks his dad is the funniest person in the world. He can get people laughing really hard to by the hilarious things he says

 Oh i love Blake so much its crazy. I dont know how Heavenly Father trusts me with such a special child but i am so thankful. Blake ALWAYS tells me how much he loves me. He always tells me that he loves me bigger than a giant. HAHA! He loves to cuddle wiith me. He also LOVES to pick flowers for me. One time he was staying home with daddy while i went out shopping. So he ran downstairs and picked a flower and said, " Mommy keep this in the car and when you get sad because i am not there just look at the flower." it was so precious. He gets very sad when he disappoints me. He always tells me that it is his job to protect me and Bailee because we are his girls:)

 Speaking of Bailee........... He LOVES Bailee. He calls her,my sweet girl, my princess, Bailee girl and rubber butt! Every single morning he wakes up and searches for Bailee to cuddle her. Almost every night he goes into Bailee when its time for her to go to bed and he sings you are my sunshine to her(it melts my heart). He loves her so much he never stops wanting to be around her. Unless he is in his room playing "naughty" games that he says she shouldnt see because she is too little.( mainly crashing his cars or super heros killing the bad guys)He loves to give her kisses and make sure she is ok when she is hurting

 Blake is a very happy boy most of the time. Except at dinner most nights. He still has the worst time eating. He is super picky and has an excuse as to why he doesnt want to or shouldnt eat that certain food. Its the worst thing ever. He also takes, no joke, 1 hour to eat his dinner. We have had to start setting a timer!But to his defense, he has also tried a lot of things i would never ever have thought he would. So thats good!

 This little boy loves his daddy more than life, not only is he exactly like his dad in pretty much every single way, but he also thinks his dad walks on water. he is obsessed with his daddy. He wants to do everything with his dad and always wants to go on a daddy date with him

 Blake played on his very first team ever! Soccer! He has a very powerful kick and knows how to play the game, but he was usually only interested in running faster than anyone else on the field haha.

 Blake has developed his very own style. Nana took him shopping and he picked out this whole outfit from head to toe! It actually looks adorable on him! Its funny because it is nothing like i have ever dressed him! He really really really loves those shoes!

 Blakers is very smart. He actually shocks a lot of people with how smart he is. In primary we have told him to learn the articles of Faith. He learns one in a day. Its crazy! He can tell you many Book of Mormon stories, he loves to watch shows that teach him how things are built and used, He knows a lot of his letters and numbers, he has pretty much every country song memorized and he is really starting to know what the spirit feels like.

 Blakes club foot is doing really good..... i think. He is really good at cleaning up as long as friends are not here. He loves to help me cook, bake and do anything in the kitchen. Today he told me that he closed his teeth so his yawn couldnt come out so he is not tired. hahaha!

 Blake loves his Nana! I mean like really really loves her. He is always very goofy with her and makes sure to protect her. Blake loves loves loves to play with friends. He loves going to friends houses, having friends over, going out with friends, whatever it is he always asks to bring a friend.

 Blake loves his papa. This part is hard for me to write and this picture is very very hard for me to see. Like i have explained there relationship IS special. The veil is very thin for Blake. Cory has come to blake a few times and talked to him and shown himself. One of the times was very recent. Blake got his fingers smashed in the car door. I thought for sure they were broken. He screamed bloody murder for a very long time and wouldnt stop. So we got in the car and started heading to the ER. Then all of the sudden Blake stops crying. I ask him if he is ok and he says," yes papa was with me and gave me a hug." My heart melted and my eyes teared up. The night after Cory died, Cory came to Blake. Blake was very worried all day about the bad guys that killed papa and that papa didnt even have a chance to fight back. his sensitive spirit could not handle it. The next morning Blake woke up and and immediately told me that papa came to him when he was sleeping. He said, " i was sleeping and papa kept trying to wake me up and told me he needed to talk to me for a minute. He said that Heavenly Father is fixing him right now and that i dont need to worry about the bad guys and that he was taking care of them." Ever since then Blake has not worried a single bit about what happened to his papa. He misses him like crazy and is definitely still grieving, but he understands what happened and where he is. We went to nanas house a couple weeks ago and Blake woke up the first morning very sad and somber. I asked him why he was so sad and he said, " I am just having a hard time. I thought if i came to nanas house papa would talk to me." Oh my heart just broke. So i told him we will pray that papa will come see him that night. So we said our prayers that night and asked that Cory come talk to Blake and ease his mind. Sure enough, Blake came to me in the morning and said papa came and talked to him. He said, " Papa was in his cop clothes and he told me the tyesun needed to take Bailee on the tractor and that Tyesun needed to take Blake and Bailee out to see the dogs." I thought that was interesting and then little did I know that that is exactly what Tyesun was needing. He needed to be with Blake and Bailee. Blake has a very strong testimony for such a young boy. I am so glad that he is so close to Cory and that Cory can be there for Blake when he really needs him. Blake talks about papa just about every day and tells us and Bailee how much he misses him.

 Ok seriously this is Blake at like 2 weeks old!!!! Oh my goodness look how tiny!!!! I couldnt imagine not having him in my life. He completes this family and brings so much light and the spirit with him. He is my best little buddy and my cuddler. I love him so so so much and cant wait to see what happens in the next year of his life!

This picture came out of order but he loves My family! He loves his SheShe and talks about her all the time. He gets super excited when i tell him we are going to see SheShe that day and asks me all day long when we are going to see her until we do. He loves her!

Dad, Cory, Papa..... We Miss You

I dont even know how to start this post. I have been trying to write it for 4 months and i couldnt get myself to do it. Just thinking about writing it makes my heart so heavy. I feel now like i can get through this post with many tears but also some joy so i am going to try.

My Father in Law Cory Wride was killed in the line of duty on January 30th, 2014. He was on duty when he saw a car pulled over to the side of the road with its hazards on. He pulled up behind to see if they needed any help. What he saw in the car was a 17 year old girl driving and a 27 year old guy in the passenger seat. He got the information and the passenger gave him a fake name. He went back to the car 3 times to get the correct info. As he was sitting in his police car trying to figure things out the passenger opened up the back window to the truck and shot 7 rounds. The first bullet shot Cory in the head and instantly killed him another bullet shot him in the neck. The car fled and got in a high speed chase and the shooter ended up dead and the 17 year old girl is in prison awaiting trial.

 This tragic time in our lives has been the absolute worst and best moments i have ever lived through. I remember being really really angry in the beginning and not being able to focus on reality. I felt like i was living a terrible nightmare. I dont know that there is much worse than having to tell your husband that his dad was murdered. My heart ached so bad for him and still does. Chance was completely devastated. His heart was shattered. For the first few days he could barley function. He had lost his best friend and dad, How do you even recover from that?

 I am not going to go into all the details because i have written those and am in the process of writing those in my personal journal, but i wanted to share a few things on my blog so everyone can see and i can look back and remember some of the details.

My mother in law called me and told me cory was shot and killed. I immediately fell to the floor bawling my eyes out. I couldnt even stand up. My kids ran into the bathroom and Blake looked so scared. I made them get out and i sat there bawling trying to figure out how i was going to tell Chance. He was at work so no one was able to get a hold of him. I immediately felt that i need to go to his work and tell him. I got the kids in the car, neither of them even had shoes on. I think i remember calling my sister and mom telling them but i dont think they could really understand me because i was crying so hard. I dropped the kids off at my friends house and cried all the way to Chances work and i was so scared to get there. I didnt know what to say or how to tell him. When i got there i had the manager tell him to come outside. When i told him, i have never been so heart broken. I think the worst part of that moment was that there was nothing i could say or do to make his pain leave right then and there. I just had to sit there and hug the love of my life while he cried till he couldnt cry anymore. We cried so hard together.

We ended up being able to fly out to Utah that night. Thank goodness. Probably the worst flight i will ever have. We just felt that we needed to be with the family right then and there and the flight was taking too long. We were able to spend almost two weeks there. It was such a whirlwind and i actually cant remember a lot of it. Watching my family grieve so hard they couldnt even function was the worst thing i have ever had to experience. their hearts were so torn. Even Blake was having a really hard time. Like i have said in my blog a lot Blake and Cory had the most amazing, special and unique relationship. I know for a fact they were best friends in heaven. When Blake found out that papa died he said," I am not sad, he is with Heavenly father right now." It was the sweetest thing. In my next post i will write all about the amazing spiritual experiences we have had that have made so much joy come out of the worst tragedy.

I hope with my whole heart that we will not have to endure something so tragic ever again here on this earth. It has been 4 months and our life is still not back to normal. We still cry a lot, Chance still breaks down and has a hard time when people talk about their dads. Blake still has a hard time sometimes and asks if we can say a prayer so papa can come talk to him. We are still having to deal with trying to live our normal lives and grieve at the same time. We struggle so bad with feeling bad about moving forward and progressing. Chance and I talk about Cory just about every single day. We still have a hard time seeing pictures of him and are trying to work through getting through all the first without him being there. Its really hard going to Chances parents house and not having him there. Its crazy how much i miss the things that drove me crazy. When i am at his house, i end up doing some of the things he would do because i miss it.

You never ever know when it is going to happen to you and your family and you never think it will. Then when it does happen you dont think you will ever be the same again, and its true, you will never ever be the same person you were before it happened. But what i have realized it that you dont have to change for the bad. I can let this experience soften my heart, strengthen my testimony and have more faith than i ever could have dreamed of. I am not angry, i am sad, very sad. But i am so beyond grateful that i have him up in heaven work for me and my family and guiding and directing us. I trust him to take care of us and its really comforting.

Late Christmas in Utah

We stayed home for Christmas because Chance couldnt get off work. It was Chances families turn for Christmas so we decided to go the the first week of January! It was a serious blast! We got to see everyone and eat at our favorite places and play in the snow!

I love this picture of Blake! We went to Lunch at Chances favorite place called Barrys. I am not a fan but Chance loves it!

 Blake of course loves Kylie and Bailee still has a hard time, I am not sure why she just has a hard time with her. But Kylie went everywhere with us we loved it!

 My kids got SPOILED!!!!!! Yes Nana and Papa spoiled them like crazy. My kids love love love nana and papa. They get so much attention from them and i love how neat their relationships are

 Love this outfit and hat!!!

 Of course we had to stop at Costa Vida even though we have one here. Its my fave!!!

 Bailee has not see the snow. This was the first time she saw it and she fell right in. She was not a fan. So we went inside and changed her into some snow clothes and she ended up loving it!

 Blake LOVES the snow can you tell? Oh he was the happiest boy ever, This kid could run out in the snow naked and not even realize it because he is having so much fun!

 Nana came and played for a little bit it was great

 Warm and happy. All she did was eat the snow. Seriously she sat down and just ate snow the whole time haha!

 I was able to stop him for 1 sec to take a picture!

 Chance and his sister Kylie. They are so cute

 Blake is a pro at snow angles! He makes the perfect one everytime. They had snow angles all over their yard

 Grandma Becky stopped by for a little bit to play

 I love him and this picture!

 Blake and Tyesun have such a cool relationship. Tyesun LOVES Blake and Blake thinks he is the coolest person ever. Teysun took Blake out to help him feed the animals

 I was so excited to see my best friend of all time Tori! Her boys and Blake are such great friends and i just love her. WE always have so much fun together. We went to Noodles n company and just relaxed and hung out. Best!!!

 Blakers and nana making yummy dessert

 I got to spend a lot of time with my brother. Thankfully Chances family loves Reilly, so he was able to come over and hangout. I miss him like crazy

 This is the gorgeous Provo temple! It wont be done for a while but i just think its so beautiful

 I miss Utah mountains. I was like a tourist snapping a bunch of pics. Everyone kept making fun of me

 Yummy lunch at DAiry Keen

 They have aweosme toys for the kids to play with while they wait

 We got to go to this awesome ice castle! The whole thing was made of icicles! It was so cool

 Blake was amazed he couldnt believe it. The boy couldnt stop breaking pieces off. Little stinker

 And of course Bailee just wanted to lick or eat all of it!

 oooooooooo boy:( Yep thats Chance, no worries he has a wife!

 I love my cute family!

 Blake and papa have quite the amazing relationship. Its adorable

 Oh i love this cute duck face. This is what Bailee does when you tell her to do her duck face:)

 Stopped at Grandma Beckys house for a nice visit

 Also got to go to Breakfast With Chances dad Larry and his wife Julie! They are so great we had fun with them

 We stopped and saw my friend Cilka and her adorable kids! We miss them

 The last night we were there we had a huge family dinner. It was a blast we had pizza, family home evening, and played games. Super fun!

Macklin our niece has gotten so big i couldnt even believe it! She is adorable!

We had a fantastic trip. The drive was great both ways to. My kids were great thank goodness!!!